Category Archives: Writing

The past month has been life changing. It started on a good note, with my attending the workshop of my dreams, making new friends, and learning the ins-and-outs of my own writing. I’ve posted about VP. I don’t need to repeat how incredible an experience it was. However, it had one more benefit.

It didn’t stop my dad from dying; it didn’t stop the hurricane that hit while I was at my mom’s house in Brooklyn, N.Y. But it put things in perspective and helped me process these experiences.

As hard as writing can be at times, it’s easy when compared with taking your loved one through a battle with cancer. Though my relationship with my father has been a long distance one for the past fifteen years, he’ll forever be my father. Distance and a physical body don’t matter. What does matter is that he supported me and was encouraging even when this vile thing consumed him from the inside. He never let on if he had any moments of anger or doubt. I know my mom dealt with some of that. It wasn’t easy for her, and I don’t envy the side of things she had to experience. I can well imagine what she went through and it breaks my heart, especially knowing that what I’m picturing is probably only half accurate.

I’m the emotional one in my family, usually the first one to break into tears. That’s not how I wanted to say good-bye to my dad. So I made plans. At the visitation and wake, I was my father’s daughter: I greeted all the friends and family that came to pay their respects. By making it about my father rather than about me, I learned how much he was loved by people outside the family. It’s one thing to know your dad is a good guy. It’s entirely another thing to hear so many people say it, to hear it in their accounts antics at work. (I’m not the only one who knew what a stubborn and funny man my dad was…)

I wrote and presented his eulogy. It was easier to write than I expected, but much more difficult to deliver. My sister Christina accompanied me to the podium in church. Without the warmth of her hand on my back, I’d have broken down in tears on the first page. What kept me from doing this was knowing that Dad was proud of both of us standing there together.

The cemetery was the hardest part. At that point, I was done being there for everyone else. My sisters and I hung back, allowing family and friends to place their flowers on dad’s coffin. When they stepped away, we had the chance to say the final goodbye.

Even my sisters pulled away finally, but this is where I got stuck. I suddenly felt like I was abandoning the last bit of him. It awoke the pain I felt when I received the phone call that he’d died. I can’t even describe the pain. It’s not physical. It’s like something reached in and tried to strangle my soul. I know the body in that coffin isn’t him anymore, but it’s one thing to know it and another thing to actualize it. Some of you might even understand what that means.

I’m okay most of the time, but this has changed me in a few ways. The very thing I loved about my father was his sense of humor and his joy of children. My best memories of us were from my childhood. I want my children to remember me the same way. Sometimes, when my kids are down, I think of him and wonder what he’d do cheer them up.

The other thing that changed for me was what I call “the moment”. I work hard at my day job and my writing. I work hard to keep the house in order and the laundry cycled fast enough. I work my tail off trying to keep the kids up to date on their homework and medical needs. Sometimes I fail. But in all that day-to-day stuff, there are moments that count more than others (like the ones I referred to earlier) and there are moments that are wasted that should have been spent on something else.

I feel older after all this. It’s not that I don’t have a dad anymore. I do, he’s just not on the same plane of existence as I am right now. It’s that I really do think I lost a piece of myself. I think we all do when we lose someone we love that much.

As things went downhill with my dad, one of my biggest personal fears was being unable to write when things went ultimately wrong. The day before my dad died, I started a story for him about a woman diagnosed with rapidly terminal cancer. I was never going to show him, that would have been too much. The day he died, I flew home to Brooklyn. On that flight, I finished the story by hand. I spent the next week transcribing it little by little. It was torture, but I made it through. I think it’s the best story I’ve written to date. It incorporates something of my dad and something of myself. I’ve been revising and worldbuilding other projects since then. It wasn’t until tonight that I really drafted new words on a story. It was hard to write because the words kept coming out in the voice from the story I wrote for my dad. It means I’m not done with it. I’ll be finishing that revision before moving on to this new project, but don’t think for a minute that I don’t consider this not writing.

I just need to finish this level of emotion before I go into the next phase. I have enough moments of anger to know that this next story will play out when the time is right.

I don’t like this new club I belong to, but that’s life and death. We’re in it. Might was well live it to the fullest. Fight til we can’t breathe. Love til there’s no heart left to love with. Whatever you do, do it your way. Do it proudly.

August & September

It sure was a crazy summer. My family is growing up and doing new things. It’s wonderful but exhausting and time-consuming. I’m fighting still for my writing time, but I think I did a bang-up job of catching p with my reading.

August Results

• Winter Warrior: Ch 7 written
• Short Stories: 1 written & revised
• Reading: 4
  • Down The Darkest Road (Tami Hoag)
  • So Long And Thanks For All The Fish (Douglas Adams)
  • The Hunger Games (Suzanne Collins)
  • Fuzzy Nation (John Scalzi)
• Rejections:  6
• Resubmissions:  5
• Critiques: 1
• Worldcon (8/30-9/3)

September Results

• Short  Stories:  1 written, revised twice and submitted to WOTF
• Reading:
  • The Lost Gate (Orson Scott Card)
  • Land of Mist & Snow (Doyle & MacDonald)
  • World War Z (Max Brooks)
• Critiques: 2
• Rejections: 7
• Resubmissions: 3 + 1 new
• Worldcon (8/30-9/3)

October Goals & Expectations

I’m leaving my goals open this month since I’m attending the workshop during the second week and I’m expecting it’s going to have some impact on my writing plans. I do know that I want to finish the novel, and that I want to revise and submit a short story for the next quarter of Writers of the Future.

Beyond that, there are a ton of short stories I need to reevaluate post-workshop. I’m not expecting miracles from the workshop, but I do expect to learn a few things, whether it’s about myself or the industry, I have a sneaking suspicion it’s going to make me think before sending my stories back out. Part of me also says that if I’m going to throw a comment on my cover letters that I attended VP, I damn well better be sending them worthy of having the VP name out there.  I also suspect that I will see the brokenness of some of those stories and retire them. I’m supposed to grow as a writer, and some of these stories are old. Some of them give me a feeling that something is off (or I know what’s off) but I lack the skills currently to fix it. Maybe it’s just vision. We’ll see.

I’m also going to be launching my new blog series. Watch out for an announcement later this month. It’s called Read It & Write which I believe will be of interest to readers and writers alike. More details soon!

In the meantime, here are my October writing plans:

• Viable Paradise
• Winter Warrior
• Short Story Work (WOTF Q1 deadline 12/31)
• Read
• Critique

Here we go!

The universe is testing my will to write again, or more specifically, my desire to be a good mom and a good writer are at conflict. The school year has gotten off to a good start, we’re enrolled in after school activities, I’m trying to keep myself fit, and I’m trying to keep the writing constant. Again, I’m reminded I can’t do it all, despite the fact that before, it seems like I did.

Bottom line: I’m losing my after work writing time. Every hour my daughter spends in after-school care costs me more money. After school activities cost me time.

By the time I get the little ones in bed and settled enough that I can migrate to the basement for the evening, i am so tired that my productivity slows to a screeching halt. Maybe not so dramatically, but enough that I’m trying to think of new ways to find time in my day.

THERE ARE NO NEW WAYS. There are only the ways that cost me energy. I’ve been failing at the early morning wake-ups. So I’ve been writing at lunch instead of working out, or staying up late and taking 2 hours to do what I used to in twenty minutes. I just need to get myself in gear and wake up earlier. The first step is admitting that I’ve truly lost that after work writing time. I can’t tell you how much this saddens me. The flip side is that I’m spending more time with my kids and taking them places where they can experience things and become better people and happier children.

I need to start the 4:15 wakeups. I think I should do it military style. Throw myself out of bed and onto the floor and force out 20 pushups and situps. Get the blood flowing, right?

Maybe not. 🙂 But I do need to get down to my computer and start typing. This post is the first step. It’s worked before, and i’ll do it again, I just need the push. I can do this. If my writing is going to survive, I have no other choice. I want to be awesome at two things which require more time than I can spare.

Starting tonight, 10:15 bedtime, 5:00 wake ups.  After a week or two of this and judging my productivity, I’ll see how much earlier I need to move this.

Anyone else depriving themselves of pre-sunrise sleep? I’m sure I’m not alone…

It starts with a voice that resembles the ‘you can’t do this’ whisper, but it’s slightly different. Before, the voice told me the story wasn’t good enough. The story was the best i could do at the time, so it went out into the world. About sixteen mnths later, the voice still says the story isn’t good enough, but it gave me more details. The story isn’t complete; there’s more to this character’s journey. She’s defeated one demonic unicorn who has brothers out there destroying innocence and beauty. She’s the only one who knows. It wasn’t enough to see her defeat the one who consumed her innoncence with his hunger; we need to go with her through the healing process, see what she does while she’s trying to heal.

This story, and four others in a similar situation are being pulled from my submission pool. I have a new folder on my harddrive for short stories that need to be written into novellas/novelettes. I’m not ready to do it now, but I’ve got a lot of learning over the next few months: Worldcon (later today!!!!) and Viable Paradise in just over a month.

I’m glad I’ve recognized what these stories need, and I’m on the brink of being ready to dive into it, but I need to sharpen some tools first.

Have you checked Duotrope or Ralan lately for speculative fiction anthology markets that pay professional rates? If you have, you’ll notice two things. First, that the number of open markets as much smaller than it was five years ago, and second, that there is a new market, one that fills an uncommon niche: science fiction and fantasy humor. It’s called Unidentified Funny Objects.

I know when I see a new market, especially one with the ‘fledgling’ label slapped on next to it, I become suspicious. We’ve had too many scams come through these sites lately to really trust a new market without first researching the editor and publisher and figuring out just what their deal is. I’ve got the scoop on this one: the market’s legit and trustworthy and you’re in for a treat.

UFO Publications–Unidentified Funny Objects–is putting out an anthology edited and managed by Alex Shvartsman, a name that’s been creeping up from out of the aspiring writer trenches. Alex’s recent work has appeared in Daily Science Fiction, Bards and Sages and a dozen more. He’ll be attending this year’s Viable Paradise workshop in October.

So he’s a good writer. You might be asking about his editorial skills. His work on UFO has attracted writers such as Mike Resnick and Jake Kerr. Encouraging, yes? Well here’s the good news. Alex allowed me to grill him with the dozen questions burning in my mind. I’m sharing his answers with you today.

 * * * * * * * * * *

DMB: Where did the first spark hit you for UFO and did anyone look at you oddly?

AS: There was no “Eureka” moment. The idea coalesced over time.

My desire to put together an anthology grew out of dissatisfaction with how things are often done in the industry. Slow response times, insultingly low pay, and budget production values are not quite the norm, but more common than they ought to be. I thought that I might be able to do better.

There aren’t a lot of spec fic magazines or anthologies specializing in humor. I decided that it would be a nice niche to fill, especially since I enjoy both reading and writing such material. Given the overwhelmingly positive response from the community thus far, I’m not alone in this assessment. I’ve had some wonderful help and advice every step of the way and there are many people eager to read the anthology.

Now I just have to deliver on the promise of an excellent book of humor. No pressure, right?

DMB:What types of stories are you still looking for to fill the anthology, or if you prefer, what have you had your fill of, or seen too often?

AS: I want to print stories that are funny, optimistic and upbeat. And while some submissions miss the mark (and boy do they miss it!) I’m also getting tons of truly excellent submissions to select from.

So far urban fantasy has been the most popular. I’m up to my eyeballs in werewolf, vampire, zombie, and demon stories.
With the submission deadline looming so close, I would still like to see more SF and more quality flash. I only bought 3 flash stories so far and there are just a few more in the final round of consideration.

DMB: How did you requisition the cover art?

 AS: I always intended to make the book look as good as anything TOR or BAEN might put out. This most definitely meant getting an amazing piece of art for the cover. I reached out to Dixon Leavitt, who is a professional illustrator and cover artist and who also drew a great illustration for my Conrad Brent stories.

I asked him for a “Dogs Playing Poker type painting with trope SF and F characters around the table instead of dogs.” He said that his style was significantly different from “Dogs” but felt he could come up with something I’d like. He wasn’t wrong!

DMB: You’ve commented online via your blog and twitter that you spend about six hours a day working on this anthology. Can you shed some light on what kinds of activities this entails, and where your headaches and shrieks of joy come from?

AS: The most time consuming part of the project by far is reading submissions. We’ve read over 700 submissions in less than 3 months and I try to read a lion’s share of them myself. I also try to respond to people in less than 48 hours and often provide at least a small bit of personal feedback. This takes a *lot* of time, but the true joy comes from occasionally discovering a gem among all the submissions – a story that I *know* I’m going to buy on the first read.

Other activities involve working with accepted writers on preliminary edits and rewrites, handling contracts, setting up distribution channels for the physical book and fundraising. Promoting a Kickstarter campaign takes a lot more time than I anticipated.

I come from a business background and know how to run a tight ship and juggle all these things efficiently. But, no matter smoothly I set everything up, there are still only 24 hours in each day. I do vaguely recall a time when I used to sleep for a luxurious 7 hours a night.

DMB: Previous to your UFO project, have you had any editorial experience?

AS: I worked as an editor in chief at two short-lived national gaming magazines (Mage and Hero Gamer) and an editor at a few more publications, both online and in print. I’ve been writing game-related non-fiction for many years. However, I have zero editorial experience when it comes to fiction. This is my first such project.

Having said that, I’m not completely unqualified. I’m an active member of SFWA with 30+ short story sales under my belt, all since 2010 which is when I began writing fiction. I have also been accepted into the Viable Paradise workshop and will attend in October. So I can argue that I have at least some decent idea of what a good story looks like.

DMB: Are you receiving any editorial assistance with this anthology – or is this your solo project?

AS: I’m getting a ton of help. Every submission I deem good enough to “pass up” is then read anonymously by a board of trusted associate editors. Their number has grown from the initial four to eight as I’ve shamelessly recruited several of the writers whose stories I bought for the anthology to help out!

The associate editors are Fran Wilde, Leah Cypess, James Beamon, Nathaniel Lee, Cyd Athens, Anatoly Belilovsky, Michael Haynes and Frank Dutkiewicz. They’re all excellent writers in their own right and bring a ton of experience and diverging tastes, which allows me to “test” stories on a great sample audience.

I would also like to mention Elektra Hammond, our copy-editor. I’ve encountered a number of copy-editors over the years as both a fiction writer and a non-fiction one and she is, hands down, the best I’ve had a privilege of working with.

For UFO stories, I’ve asked Elektra to CC: me on the copy-edits she sends to writers – not because I feel I should (or can) micromanage, but because I enjoy and learn from the insights into the process. She regularly catches things I totally miss.

She also does freelance projects, so if you’re looking for someone really, really good to edit your book, seek her out.

DMB: Aside from the stories you’re compiling for UFO, do you have a favorite humorous story, and can you share why it sticks with you even today?

AS: Can I admit something? I sort of hate the ‘what’s your favorite ….” question, because there’s rarely just one. There are many humorous SF stories and novels that I love, and they are all different from each other. Novels by Douglas Adams and Mike Resnick, short stories by Robert Sheckley and Fredric Brown. And I would be remiss not to mention “The Stainless Steel Rat” series by Harry Harrison, who just passed away recently at age 87. Those were among the first humorous SF books I ever read, and they had a tremendous impact in establishing my tastes for SF and humor.

I linked several “sample” stories from the UFO Submissions page, because I would have bought those stories on the spot had they been submitted to me. Of those, my favorite is “Wikihistory” by Desmond Warzel. I love the non-traditional format and humor of that story, as well as the fact that it is, in fact, a solid SF story and not just a delivery vehicle for a bunch of jokes.

DMB: Now that you’re both writing and editing, which calls to you more?

AS: It’s apples and oranges, and I enjoy both very much. Both writing and editing, that is. I’m indifferent toward oranges.

The quantity of my writing has suffered due to the time commitments described above. However, I think I will become a better writer due to this experience. Finding faults and flaws in other people’s stories teaches me to look at my own with a more critical eye.

DMB: Are there differences between your ideal “writing space” and “editing space”?

AS: I do the bulk of both in a small office room at my house. However, I’m not a “picky” writer or editor. I can write in hotel rooms, on the plane, anywhere where I’m not constantly interrupted by other things.

DMB: Knowing what you do now after all this work you’ve put in, is there anything you’d handle differently?

AS: Not at this stage, no. In the future I may abandon reading round 1 slush and rely on associate editors for that. But I’m glad that I took it upon myself to do it the first time around. It gave me a really good idea of what to expect from submission and valuable experience evaluating and commenting on stories.

DMB: For many writers, humor is one of the toughest stories to write. Any advice on how to connect with our inner comic/comedian?

AS: It’s incredibly difficult to teach someone to write humor. You either have a funny bone, or you don’t. However, there are a couple of suggestions that come to mind based on my experience this summer:

• Don’t sell yourself short. Many writers assume they can’t do funny, so they won’t try. I had to convince Jake Kerr to try and write something for UFO. Inspiration struck him and he wrote a story in one sitting that is among the funniest in the book. You can read it for free at ufopub.com/twitter
• “Humor” isn’t the same thing as “light.” I get a ton of stories that are light-hearted and don’t take themselves too seriously, but a few funny lines do not make the story a “humor” story. You need to work harder.
• Comedic timing. A joke can be hilarious or a dud, based on how it’s timed and presented. I could repeat a Patton Oswald routine but it wouldn’t be even remotely funny, but when he does it, it’s hilarious. Because it’s all in the delivery. As a writer you don’t have the opportunity to take advantage of some of the tools available to stand-up comedians in the visual (or auditory) presentation of their humor. So you have to lean extra heavily on the timing. James Beamon is particularly good at this in his writing. Everyone interested in learning more about comedic timing should read a James Beamon story or two.

DMB: What are you plans post UFO — will there be more?

AS: This really depends on how well the book sells. I already have several projects planned out for 2013, assuming that sales of UFO and interest in the project justify going forward. My 2013 business plan culminates, naturally, in the release of UFO #2!

But honestly, the time for reflection and evaluation hasn’t come yet. I’m still incredibly busy putting this book together. When all is said and done I can analyze it and figure out what I can do better the next time around. For now it’s a great learning experience and if readers love this book half as much as I do, it can turn out to be a huge success, too.

DMB: Thanks for your time Alex and best of luck with UFO.

 * * * * * * * * * *

That’s what I’m hoping–and I’m not alone. UFO Publications has a Kickstarter set up with a goal of $5000. To date, Alex has raised $3599 toward this goal. If you aren’t familiar with Kickstarter, it’s a means of donating money toward a project — and that money doesn’t leave your possession until the goal is met.

If it’s met.

You’ve read the fine print–the bit about the deadline? Alex has 8 days left to raise another $1401. Until Saturday September 1^st, we can help fund a new anthology and grow a new professionally paying science fiction and fantasy market.

Write Happy, Edit Happy, Read Happy.

Dawn

FMWriters is traveling the web via the Merry Go Round Blog Tour. Site members have grouped together to write monthly on themed topics and turn the blog tour concept on its head: we’re not the ones touring: you are, as you read one writer’s perspective after another. This is my contribution to the Merry Go Round Tour. Enjoy your ride. ~ Dawn

Reading is almost more important than writing. Think about it. Writers likely wouldn’t have the desire to write without ever having read something that sang to them. Readers, who spend a good chunk of their time poring over (and sometimes screaming at) what writers dream up and write down, are the targets of our writing. Without them and their love for the written word, writers would be worthless.

My reading is critical to me, first as a means to understand what’s been written before and understand what the current market is like, and second as my form of enjoyment. Therefore, my reading comes in two forms: books I read to learn from, and books I read to for the sheer enjoyment.

At the moment, I’m listening to “So Long and Thanks For All The Fish” because I’d read the Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy (audiobook) recently and was delighted to see another book in the series sitting on the shelf in my library. I checked it out and am enjoying it immensely despite missing at least one more book in the series between the two. It’s having the side of effect of anything humorous I read having an English accent in my head.

I’m reading Elizabeth Bear’s All The Windwracked Stars, which is heavy reading. It’s slow going because I’m trying to absorb so much of her massive world which is a place I can’t imagine having come up with on my own. And she always does this with her worlds, at least so far as I’ve read.

I’m also in the midst of reading several speculative fiction anthologies: Way of the Wizard and Lightspeed (year 1) by John Joseph Adams, Triangulation: Last Contact, and several Writers of the Future anthologies. I also have issues of Analog and Bards & Sages stashed in various activity bags and in the car. I do enjoy reading one story at a time, and leave the book in particular places in the house. When I’m there, I read a story from that book. It’s odd, but very often I cannot leave my son alone while I take two minutes, run up the stairs and grab a book. Disaster can and has happened during that very short time. He’s getting better at being left alone as he’s getting older, so I imagine this is going to streamline my reading a bit later on.

Over the next six months, my reading will be work from the following authors:

• George Martin (how can I watch the series without having read the books?!)
• Sherwood Smith (I picked up her books because she’s an instructor at a workshop I’m attending in the fall and now I’m hooked).
• Mike Resnick (because he’s been offering such helpful advice that’s made an impact directly on my writing practice)
• John Scalzi (anxious to read Redshirts, then ship it off to my dad when I’m done)
• Steven Brust (another workshop instructor whose fantasy novels sound fascinating)

What I’m really looking for, is more science fiction along the lines of S.L. Viehl’s Stardoc series, and Tanya Huff’s Valor series, and something with unicorns, and animal bonding… oh you get the idea. My reading list is one thing that will never, ever be done. Joy!        

What are you reading these days? Anything you’d recommend?

Happy reading!

Dawn

Today’s post was inspired by Forward Motion’s Merry-Go-Round topic “ What’s On My To-Read list?”.  If you want to get to know nearly twenty other writers and read about their ideas, then check out the Merry-Go-Round Blog Tour. Bonnie is up next at Cowgirl in New England.

July Results

An insane month, but mostly for good reasons. I feel like I’ve done more, but I can’t seem to find it.  Oh, there were nonwriting goals and challenges – I gave up cola for good and started seriously exercising. I resumed my morning writing sessions this past week via  a carefully layered alarm sequence. (A post for another day). I’m feeling better – the exercise is giving me a boost that I used to get from the caffeine. It was a rough few weeks (including a cold), but I’m getting there. I also started slush reading for a F/SF zine, and am participating in a “450 Crit Swap” on the WOTF forums where we swap the first (you guessed it) 450 words of a story and provide feedback. I like them, but they’re challenging.

• Winter Warrior (fantasy novel) – 4k words written
• Novelette: DDR 1^st draft in progress (novella) – 4k written
• Reading: 2 – Sherwood Smith’s Once A Princess and Twice A Prince
• Rejections:  13
• Resubmissions: 11
• Acceptances: 1
• Minicrits: 2

August Goals

Now that I’ve got a groove going on, I’m going to focus on the novel and the novella. Two writing sessions for the novel at about 800 words each, and then one session for the novella and other writing related tasks. I would really like to finish the novel before Chicon7. It’s my first convention and I’m prepared to be overwhelmed – I just don’t want it to screw over the novel finale.

• Novel: Winter Warrior (v01) – 1600 daily
• Novella Draft: DDR
• Read x2 (Currently: All The Windwracked Stars –E.Bear; So Long And Thanks For All The Fish– D.Adams;)
• Crits x4 (OWW return crits)
• CHICON7

I’ve had a short story accepted by Schrodinger’s Mouse. I’ll share publication details when they are available.

/happydance/

Hi Everyone,

I’ve been reading, recharging, and working slowly on a short story (while I mentally wrestle with the reminder that I should be writing my novel). It’s been a good week. I’ve decided not to shoot for the 2k a day wordcounts, but lowering it and taking my time with the novel. It isn’t a race. Taking 4 months to write a first draft instead of 3 really doesn’t make a difference in the turning of my world.

Then I ran across some advice from Mike Resnick this morning which clicked with the instant awesomeness of fitting that last piece into that crazy 1000 piece puzzle you thought you’d never figure out. Paraphrasing here, he offered his approach that while he writes several novels a year (because they pay the bills, not the short stories), that he breaks from those novels to work on short stories.

My poor brain has been trying to do that, and I’ve been throwing buckets of guilt at it. So I’m embracing Mr. Resnick’s advice. I’m going to allow myself a few days a month to indulge in the short stories without feeling guilty and poking my brain the wrong way. It doesn’t take long to write a short story — unless I’m torn about it. And that guilt has screwed up my productivity.

No more guilt. I’m going to get this story finished up today and tomorrow then throw myself back into the novel.

I owe Mr. Resnick a big thanks. I might have to go buy one of his books and have him sign it at Worldcon. The only problem is, he’s written so much. Where the hell do I start? 😀

So what about you? Has someone given you advice when you were floundering that just instantly grounded you?

Happy Writing!

Dawn

And not in a good way. I’m floundering in mud and have no traction. I’ve been making blunders all over the place, and my writing is suffering because I’ve started to fear making stupid mistakes. Not a good way to write.  I just sent out my 199th submission the other day. I knew I’ve been sending a lot of subs out, but this number caught me off guard. I’d already been starting to doubt my short story writing as I haven’t gotten a nibble from WOTF in a long time, but really, that’s just THAT VOICE that I’ve mentioned before, the one I’ve specifically instructed you to ignore. I’m tired and all the negative thoughts are starting to circle with little shark hats on.

I’m going to take a few days and read, get some extra sleep. I’m still going to write, and maybe even crit, that tends to pull me out of this. (It also helps that the hubby gets back from his business trip this evening and I get some help with the kids).

Back in a few days.

Dawn

Countdowns:

• Chicon 7- 7 weeks
• Viable Paradise – 12 weeks

FMWriters is traveling the web via the Merry Go Round Blog Tour. Site members have grouped together to write monthly on themed topics and turn the blog tour concept on its head: we’re not the ones touring: you are, as you read one writer’s perspective after another. This is my contribution to the Merry Go Round Tour. Enjoy your ride.

When I was younger, I didn’t dream about writing and being a writer; I just wrote. My first story was when I was six, written on the back of 3×3 yellow luggage tags. No one understood it but me, but it pleased me. The following stories were just as horrible and I had one particular teacher vehemently telling me that a person cannot make a living on writing short stories. It was good advice, but without any other direction and my parents not taking it seriously from a twelve year old, I went to high school to pursue art. Which is funny because I only took the required art classes. I took a lot of math an extra year of foreign language. I wrote some joint articles for the school paper and was asked to be the editor one year, but I had plans to graduate early. I didn’t want to stick around high school, I wanted to be a grown up and do grown up things.

I wrote through all of this, of course, even while I pursued a criminal justice degree. Halfway through the program, I considered declaring a dual major so I could add “English” to my degree so I could be an editor or an English teacher and ‘write on the side’. It would have added an extra year to my undergraduate education, so I dismissed that option.

After graduating and temping in the NYC area, I started to realize the pull of writing and signed up for some correspondence courses. I started submitting short stories (dear editors: I humbly apologize for the crap I sent you all those years ago). It was at this point, reading Dean Koontz and other suspense writers, that I knew writing was important to me, more than to be a side gig, but I had no place to learn more. I applied to an MFA program, but they had no interest in me or my fantasy writing.

I liked Star Trek and Star Wars, and even joined a Star Trek based role playing group online where my writing literally exploded. A friend from that group encouraged me after I commented that I’d role played enough characters to fill my own ship. She told me to do it. Fill my own ship, write that story.

I did. And it was awful. But I wrote it. The dreaming started.

I started to understand what it took to write a novel, what made it work, and what broke it. I understood the time and dedication and craved more. I was living alone at this point in my life and my writing became my best friend during the workweek, and abandoned on the weekend for my college-town boyfriend. It was a fun time. My guy encouraged me, his family encouraged me, and my parents finally joined in.

I’ve always written because it made me happy. My readers often disappointed me because a) my writing stunk so they didn’t get the story and b) my early readers didn’t take me seriously because my writing stunk. Because of this, my writing has always been mine first and foremost. Same thing with my art. The difference between the two is that my art exists to support my writing. My writing knows no bounds, is not defined by genre and rules made by someone else.

I write to please myself. I’m happy to learn the market and write in a direction that other people will love (so long as I’m still loving it). The moment this becomes a chore, torture, or otherwise unpleasant, I’m done. I don’t see that happening though. At times, it’s difficult and trying because I’m exhausted from trying to do too much, and other times it sucks me in so deep that the blood sweat and tears are truly part of the manuscript. I love it and will never stop loving it.

I write because it pleases me. I continue writing to increase my happiness. My dream is to write–write better, write more–but my plan is to share it with as many people who will enjoy it. I hope this journey brings you the joy it brings me as you experience the worlds and lives I’ve created.

Dreams don’t need to be farfetched or grandiose.  They need to be yours, foremost, but they can’t exist in a bubble in your subconscious. They need and deserve to be realized and acted upon. Yes, the hard work begins then, but nothing else makes it taste so delicious.

I have the privilege of posting this topic on a day that is significant to dreams of freedom and autonomy to my nation. Today is the realization of dreams.

Have you had a chance to recognize or realize your dreams? Are you working toward achieving them?

Write Happy,
Dawn

Today’s post was inspired by Forward Motion’s Merry-Go-Round topic “Earliest Writing Dreams”.  If you want to get to know nearly twenty other writers and read about their ideas, then check out the Merry-Go-Round Blog Tour.  Bonnie is up next at Cowgirl in New England.

June Results

I focused on the novel this month, at least until the 18^th when I received my very awesome VP acceptance. I spent some time on short story revision after that, in preparation for the 6/30 WOTF deadline. I’m unhappy with the state of my short stories and due to my indecision on what to revise, I wasted time, something I hate. I usually commit to a story and deal with it regardless of how long it’ll take, but I got wishy-washy, and bounced between three stories, submitting only one.

• Winter Warrior (fantasy novel) – 14k words written
• Reading: 2 – Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy (Adams) + Jumper (Gould)
• Rejections: 9
• Resubmissions: 10
• Critiques: 1
• Travel Arrangements for VP

July Goals

I have a schedule that’s working and writing that needs to be done. July is going to be awesome. I finally get to work on a science fiction story and make another submission to a particular science fiction market that likes one of my other stories enough that they haven’t yet rejected it. I think they’re waiting to see more from me, so I’m going to follow my instinct here and submit something new and awesome. (there’s that word again!)

• Novel: Winter Warrior (v01) – 1800w daily
• Short Story Drafts x1 (DDR)
• Short Story Rev x2 DDR + TLO rewrite & submission
• Novella Expansion:  Surrender (this one is pushing it, I think, but I’d like to try to fit it in)
• Read x2
• Crits x4

(edited to remove story names)

It’s been a crazy week since last Monday. It’s been an emotional roller coaster starting with the VP acceptance, the medical update on my Dad, work issues, and the upcoming WOTF deadline I just can’t seem to handle at the moment. The short story scene has been bugging me.

I think my editor’s eyes have developed well or taken a jump recently. Every short story I’m looking at is utter crap. To fix it would require 2+ weeks of my writing time based on available time, continuing with the novel, and my other responsibilities. I don’t want to submit crap. But I don’t want to skip a submission opportunity.

Someone suggested I take a previous Honorable Mention story and resubmit it under the new judge. I’m not comfortable resubmitting the same story twice, but this was a story I’d tabled for two years because of a massively thorough critique I’d received. Bear in mind, it wasn’t the critique itself that stopped me from revising; it was that the story needed more from me than I could give it at the time. So rather than waste a story I loved, I tabled it until I was ready.

I’ve been reading it, figuring what the core of the story is, and grew it from there. Most of the story has changed focus; a lot of the tangents I took are being cut. I need to extract the few paragraphs that uphold the central idea and then build around those, scene by scene. I’ve already reconstructed the outline, I just need to start working on the individual scenes. I wouldn’t do this for every crappy story I have now: this one sings to me. This one needs to see the world. I can’t explain why.

I could probably turn this one (eventually) into a novel based on what I know of the characters, magic and the troubles their land face socially and physically. But I don’t want this story to be that. This is about one young woman and how she dealt with some pretty bad events. I need to rewrite this.

So that’s my goal this week and then I’ll pick the novel up again, and only the novel until it’s complete. Novel writing works so much better when I’m not drafting or rewriting something else. I’m not going to submit this before I’m ready. If this isn’t ready, I do have something I can send in as plan B.

What are you facing this week that your brain and heart and pestering you on?

It took three years of applying, but I refused to give up. I guess they figured they’d better take me or I’d never leave them alone.

Don’t just dream. Fight for it.

And I’d like to extend congrats to my fellow VP 16 classmates. Well done, and I can’t wait to meet you all in person!

June 15th

• Winter Warrior 1392 words

June 16th

• Winter Warrior 32 words to tie off a chapter;
• Winter Warrior brainstorming/planning chapter 6
• Short Story Dante – brainstorming/replanning: I felt like I was losing direction on this one, and looked over everything I wrote. I figured out where I lose focus and made notes on what needs fixing, then planned what’s really coming next. The divided attention is definitely making this more of a challenge, but it’ll get there.

Since today is Father’s Day and Sunday, I get to focus on the family. See you later.

My brain has finally settled into multi-tasking, though I think I had to trick it a little bit. Whatever, it worked.

June 13th

• Winter Warrior – 2347 words

June 14th

• Winter Warrior – 868 words
• New Short Story – one page handwritten (the opening I’d been stuck on!)
• Etherea In Her Veins (short story) – reviewed an analyzed for revision.

The big deal with the short stories is that I don’t want to abandon them. My earlier post about trunking really got me thinking. What if a story was actually worth the time to revise? This one is. I love it. Not only that, but this was the one that earned me the semi-finalist in WOTF a few years ago. I took risks with the story and despite its flaws, it’s gotten good reactions wherever I’d sent it. But the personal rejections mirrored the feedback given to me by KD Wentworth, and I was on a mission to make this story perfect. I broke it in the process, I think. I’m going back two versions to the one that earned the personal rejections and the semi-finalist and fixing that version. Eventually, I can probably write this into a novella or novel, depending on my mood. But for now, it deserves to see the world.

The novel is going well. The latest chapter is learning the motivations of a secondary character. I’m still learning about him too, so I know this one is going to be heavily revised later. I’m just trying to pace myself so he can talk to me while I type.

Dante. The new short story is one of the outlines I created during May. It’s been difficult to pick up the mood I felt then, but the heart of the story is there, I’m just tweaking what needs to happen. I can usually choose a project and focus, busting the story out within a day or two. This isn’t going to be that. But a page a day while the kids are playing around me is good enough. It’ll get me a first draft, but one on paper, which usually makes up for the extra time in stronger coherence.

One more short story is in the queue, waiting for revision. It needs a serious revision as it’s only in first draft form. I was trying to do way too much with the first version. I’ve set a lot of that aside for the novel (yes, it’ll be my next SF novel probably), but this story is about a dying woman and her mom and I’m re-centering the story on their relationship from a military SF angle. It’s weird, but I’m having fun with it.

By multitasking, I’m obviously lowering the word count on the novel, but I can handle the pace. By handwriting the short story, I’m actually sneaking in an extra writing session without stealing time from anyone else.

Back to the writing. Have a great day!

Dawn

• Weekend = short story work
• Monday June 11th = 0 words (relating to day job; writing time spent on short story submissions)
• Tuesday June 12th = 1127 words

It’s getting there, and I’m building up to some information discovery that’ll cause some serious friction, just when my characters were starting to get along. 🙂 

I’ve been submitting short stories since 2009, published one of them in an anthology, and have been working relentlessly to get more of my work edited and out there. Some of the stories have been floating around the short story market for 3 years. Some far less. My strategy has always been to aim high: aim for the markets that pay the most and have the best exposure. As the author, I seem to be least skilled to judge the quality of the story — so why send what might be a pro-level story a nonpaying market? Let the editors decide.

I’ve started receiving feedback on some of my stories, mostly from semi-pro markets. It’s encouraging that someone took the time to provide their insights on my stories. What’s troubling me about this feedback, is that they’re right. When I first sent these stories off into the world, they were the best I could make them. I submit, get rejected, resubmit to another market. Rinse, repeat. Now that I’m getting feedback I can use, feedback that resonates with me in many instances, I have to question my handling of these particular stories.

On one hand, no story is perfect. If someone liked it enough, would they ask for a rewrite, regardless if it’s this version or the next one that I’m planning to revise? Is it a waste of time to keep resubmitting a story that clearly several editors keep offering similar advice on?

Or is the waste of time going to be that revision? Is this advice a lesson I should learn, tuck the practice ground material (the story) into my trunk and just plod on forward?

I’m on the fence. As I sit here, working on my weekend short stories, I’m staring at the words on my screen asking myself if they really are good enough, or will I trunk it two years into submissions? It’s not stopping the writing, but it is distracting because it’s a valid question.

Am I growing as a writer? Or am I looking at the affect of time and distance between the story and its last revision?

I have a feeling part of the answer might be on DWS’s website somewhere, and I’m going to go searching for it this week between writing sessions. In the meantime, I’ve got three stories on a hold status: back from subs and not going out just yet until I can decide.

I write because I love it; I submit the stories because I want to share my characters and worlds with people who will enjoy them. That is the heart of why I have trouble trunking a story. It’ll languish in a drawer, get forgotten. But if I promise myself I’ll come back to them, they aren’t forgotten: they’re in the back of my mind.

The problem with that, is that the back of my mind is busy simmering with my current projects. When I start hanging on to too many thoughts and threads and issues, my unconscious workings get muddled. I’m sure I’m not the only one this happens to.

Have you run into this? Any of this? Do you trunk stories and why? Have you read a story you wish the author had trunked?

The other really big question this brings me to is my focus. The feedback from many of the stories are the same regardless of story: “this could be better told in a longer version”, “explore this in longer form”, etc. It’s not the same as my original issue writing short stores, that the ideas were really novel ideas in disguise. I think this time, I’m exploring deeper issues, in big worlds that leave a short story in the shadow of the bigger world issues.

The question it begs is this: am I spending too much time on short stories now? Should I really be focusing on novels? It’s not that I’ll deprive myself of the joy of writing short stories, but the answer would direct where I spend 80% of my writing time. I find it difficult to write a short story and a novel at the same time. I can do it, but it impacts my speed.

Part of the joy of writing a short story is that I build a world slowly; I plant a seed and it becomes Jack’s Beanstalk. It happens over time, unlike novel world building, which is more like Puss In Boots: searching for the beans that’ll give me Jack’s Beanstalk. I like exploring different people and cultures, even if I made them all up in my head. It becomes a much bigger responsibility in a novel. More work and less play, perhaps? I don’t know.

Until I do, I’ll keep writing. The novel is going well, though I’d like to pick up the pace a little bit. The short stories will mostly wait until the novel is done, then I’ll go nuts on those for a few weeks before I turn back to the novel for a revision. It seems like a good strategy. The hold queue will be dealt with, one way or another. I’ll figure that out, too, I suppose

Happy Writing!

Dawn

Thursday June 7th: 873 words

Friday June 8th: 1033 words

Current Total: 15,390

Update: I’ve learned this week that I can wake up and five and be functional enough to write, though I need breakfast first. My 3 year old wakes up halfway through my hour, but I think breaking this up into a short writing session that ends when he wakes, I can have him eat breakfast while I work with my dumbbells. There’s more to the schedule revamp, but this is my focus over the next week. At first I felt this was an interuption, or a complication, but the cascade effect it has on the rest of my day could be good. And I’m on track for completing the novel by July 16/17th.

Tuesday June 5, 2012

Writing: 2065 words on Winter Warrior

Fitness: 5am wake up; light dumbbells for 20 minutes

Wednesday June 6, 2012

Writing: 602 words on Winter Warrior (work deadlines killed the after work writing session)

Fitness: N/A (stayed up too late and didn’t wake up that half hour earlier.)

FMWriters is traveling the web via the Merry Go Round Blog Tour. Site members have grouped together to write monthly on themed topics and turn the blog tour concept on its head: we’re not the ones touring: you are, as you read one writer’s perspective after another. This is my contribution to the Merry Go Round Tour. Enjoy your ride. ~ Dawn

When I graduated college and was job/career hunting, and writing took up most of my time, I had a lot of fun with it. I was casual and reckless with my midnight to three am writing sessions. Unfortunately, as creative as my stories were, they were lacking something I now know is depth.

These days, I’ve got the depth and the life experience. The trouble is I no longer have the luxury of spending hours writing and staying up all night on a whim (although I will do it for a deadline if it comes that close). I’m a responsible adult with a house, pets, kids, husband, career, and family. These all require time and energy that will sap my creativity if I don’t plan well. For instance, on the days I try to work out during lunch, I lose my lunch time writing, and my afternoon writing session (because working out during lunch means taking a shower and drying my hair before returning to the office and that time needs to be made up). If I lose my lunchtime writing and my after work writing because of a workout, then that leaves evening writing. To be honest? I’d rather slam my head into a brick wall than START my writing at 8:30pm when I’ve been up since 5:30 am living my life.

Does this sound familiar?

I keep trying to wake early, but the day job and parental responsibilities wipe me out. It’s a wretched circle of not working out so I can write during lunch and after work, then fighting the exhaustion to work out after dinner or in the morning. So something loses.

I’ve tried the Monday/Wednesday/Friday workout plan, but then I only get two solid days of writing time. I could do the opposite but then the workouts suffer.

Balance is difficult. It’s one of the hardest things I’ve faced.

Fortunately, I can write anywhere. I can write anytime. I don’t mind writing at night, but I can’t start with that as my first writing session. At least if I am able to take 10 – 15 minutes during the day and review my outlines and character notes, I can using driving time to prepare my frame of mind. It helps.

My six year old gets that I like to write. She does as well, and sometimes we’ll sit at the kitchen table together working on our separate stories. This is how I get writing done on the weekend (while the three year old naps).

What I really need to do is kick myself out of bed at 5am and work out right away. Then I’ll have lunch and after work AND evening time to write.

In the spirit of true balance and proving that it can work (and daring you to call me a liar!), I’m going to do it this week. I’m going to prove that just 30 minutes of fitness in the morning will reset my writing schedule. It helps I’m writing a novel now on a self-imposed deadline: I have momentum.

Here’s the plan: starting next week, Monday through Friday I will wake up at 5am. M/W/F I will either run or walk; T/TH I will train with my dumbbells. The first week I’ll probably be tired. But starting the second week, it should reestablish sleeping patterns which means quality sleep, and I’ll wake up refreshed and ready to go. The writing time will be awesome. No more guilt over the workout I skipped to get the next scene done.

So tell me: have you mastered balance? Have any tips to share? Or do you want to join the “I Want Balance!” Club?

Best of luck to you.

Stand by for many posts about running and writing and some 5am tweets proving I made it out of bed. 🙂

Today’s post was inspired by Forward Motion’s Merry-Go-Round topic “Writing and Balance With Life”.  If you want to get to know nearly twenty other writers and read about their ideas, then check out the Merry-Go-Round Blog Tour.