DAWN BONANNO

Busy with work, busy with holiday prep, busy catching up on sleep.  Should be back at this writing thing in the next day or two, if everything else goes well.

I know, it’s a short story, and Maura has been in my head for years.  I haven’t found the right way to tell her story yet, and some of the scenes are still giving me trouble, but I happened upon the ‘title scene’, about why the bite is important and what it means to her and her curse.

Six days into the month and I’m already overwhelmed.  I need to scale back the “new projects” and get back to my original intentions for December, which is project clean-up and completion of my 2009 goals.  The edits and short story drafts will remina; the HTTS transcription will remain; but the novel revision will wait until January.  Forgotten Star has been slated for my 2010 novel project for a while now.  The HTRYN class Holly Lisle offered (and I signed up for yeah!!!) got me way overexcited and I jumped on it, thinking I have time to fit everything in.

Right.  What was I thinking?

So the worst case scenario is that I ‘start’ the class 4 weeks late.  Chances are there will be a lesson or two that won’t take all week to complete, so I’ll catch up at some point.  And if I don’t, what consequence is there? I won’t be the first person to complete the class? Hmmm.  No, that won’t kill me, or the novel.  It can wait 3 more weeks.

I’ve grown up in the age of instant gratification.  I seize opportunities.  Sometimes they do need to be seized, but held onto for just a little while before indulging. 🙂

I wanted to kick ass tonight and both, write Nighthunter’s Bite and edit Black Violas.  Who am I kidding?  After a day with the kids (whom I love dearly, but tend to wear me out more on weekends), I barely have the energy to even watch tv.  I’m only human, which means I need a break.  I recognize that tonight, and am taking the chance to take a hot bath and read, and maybe tomorrow I’ll come back recharged and do that much more.

On a positive note, I managed some writing while the kids were napping this afternoon and wrote a page for Nighthunter’s Bite.  I’m getting some better imagery on where the story is going, and this one has a dog in it for sure now… 🙂

Finally resolved the formatting issues with the Forgotten Star manuscript.  Something has broken it, but I fixed it to the point that I can at least read it coherently in a printout.  The revision will be done by typing up the “keepers” in a new Word file.

Fading Light is on its way to the post office.  My desk is clean.  I still have ‘Bite and Violas to work on this week, but I’m taking tonight to relax and saving these stories for Friday and Saturday.

Another pass on Fading Light tonight, and I think it’s done.  I’m not sure the final paragraph is right, so I’ll sleep on it and see what I think of it tomorrow.  I worked on Nighthutner’s Bite today, as well as the novel revision lesson (one).  I think my two fantasy novels may be one long story, so I’m adding them both to the agenda to read and analyze.

Three tweaks were required for this latest ‘quick’ revision of Fading Light.  I managed two tonight, one of which is a revamp of the ending.  I think it’s good.  I’ll decide tomorrow after I’ve gotten some sleep.  And I still need to figure out that last tweak.  One little detail is all I need…

Insane month, as I expected. Still, the results were good considering the time allotted for writing.

November Results
* Fading Light: edited and submitted twice
* Critiques: 2/2
* Novel Reading (con’t Game of Thrones & Federations)
* Watering the Black Violas (edit in progress)
* Nighthunter’s Bite (draft in progress)
* Registered and started a novel revision class HTRYN)

December Goals
* Black Violas: edit
* Black Violas: to crit group
* Hunter’s Honor: edit
* Hunter’s Honor: submission
* New Short Stories: 0/4
* Crits: 0/2
* Reading
* Complete HTTS 0/3
* Class HTRYN 0/4

The short stories goal is going to be the most challenging, but I’m hitting it hard in order to complete the goals I tasked myself with for 2009. The edits are important because I want to get my stories out into submission, one of my big goals for the year. And, I’m still going for the “balance”. 🙂

The vacation is over, now cleanup begins.  But I can’t neglect the writing for the cleaning.  I have goals for this week:

Black Violas — edit
Nighthunter’s Bite — write
Fading Light — tweak & resubmit

I’d like to get Fading Light done tomorrow, and a quick edit pass for Violas on Monday, then I’ll have the rest of the week to work on ‘Bite and the remaining issues/analysis of Viola’s further revision.

Taking some time for family and fun; will be back into the swing of things in about a week and a half.

Fading Light rejected; sending it back out to another place.  My submission list for this one is too short; hitting http://www.ralan.com/ to check out some other places to sub.

Several ideas to edit the story hit me on the drive into the office this morning.  Each thought was triggered by techniques in the Think Sideways class, and I haven’t even applied the techniques intentionally yet, this is my brain/muse putting all this together on the back burner of my consciousness.    Loving it, loving the story, and I can’t to see how it’s really going to end. 

It just might take a while to get to, since I’ve got the family visit, the birthday party, and the vacation to deal with.  And that trip to NY I’ve been hoping for may happen in early December, so… I need to hang onto these thoughts and hope I don’t lose the feel for it before then.

Think Sideways — worth every penny.  Seriously.

This is probably the third time I’ve read these chapters, and while I thought they were informative on the previous reads, they’re downright perfect now.  I’m discovering what’s wrong with my story.  Several things, and it’s not even the writing; it goes deeper than that.  And unfortunately, I think the theme I was writing the story for no longer applies. 

I’m going to have to play with my options a bit and see where the heart of this story is.  If the theme no longer applies, then I’ll follow what does apply, and give this story the life it deserves.  I have other ideas I can try for the parsec contest.  At the very least, the contest itself led me to the path where I found this story, and that’s no small thing.

Continuing with Think Sideways tonight and tomorrow, will get to the applicable assignments, and then we’ll see what comes of this.

Thank you, Holly Lisle. 🙂

It’s no secret that my life is a little crazy right now.  I originally planned to not write from the 20th until the end of the month, not realizing I’d start feeling the pressure (serious pressure) the week before that.  Editing has failed me, writing has failed me.  I’m struggling with Black Violas, and I can’t see the forest nor the tress for the forest, and that should give you an idea of how far off base my writing barometer is as the moment.

Still, I attempted to write and wasted a good two hours last night.  I’d read what I wrote, make a change, start reading again and zone out.  Each time that started, the zoning would happen sooner.  There’s something wrong with this story, and I have no idea what.  So, I’m going back to the beginning, thinking about how I wrote this one, to see where I missed something.

And that’s when I recalled that I used a modified version of Holly’s Think Sideways methods for story creation.  So I spent the next two hours pouring through class material, looking for the next step, a link from the writing to the revising that might trigger my internal editor to get back to work.  I made it through five lessons, without neccessarily completing the assignments so much as writing notes “do this” in a notebook.  I’m about to approach the revision sections, will probably get there tonight, and hopefully, get some answers.

I love to share what I know, especially when it’s a topic I’m passionate about–like writing.  I think most of my blog readers are the friends I’ve made from forward motion, but I’d really like to hear from other friends.   I’m thinking about composing some posts with writing information for those of you who are interested in learning more.  It’ll mostly be my approach/philosophy with links to other sources on that topic.

I’ve learned a lot over the years, am still learning, but I want to share.  In the interest of writing these posts for someone other than myself, please reply in comments if you’d like to read anything of this nature.  If you have questions, post those too and I’ll see if I can help.

Writing is hard.  Writing alone is harder.

I knew November was going to be chaotic, but not this bad.  The last week has been riddled with worry and regret and intense “what if” planning, making it the longest week of my life.  My dad’s medical scare is still an issue, but what was leaning toward a diagnosis of liver cancer is moving toward something else.  Not sure what that something else is yet, but it’s got my dad feeling more hopeful and there’s even more hope in that.

Writing has slipped to the background for a few days, and probably will for a few more, but Black Violas is awaiting my attention, as is Carter’s crit.  I’m not getting lost this time.

It was a strange Thursday.  Rough day at the Day Job, lots of stress, and a little disappointment that the day job issue kept me from getting to the post office.  Well, the story will get out on Friday after I drop the kids off at school.  

No writing done in the evening, no editing.  I reviewed Black Violas, considering it for my next edit project, but I don’t know if I’m ready.  I’m reading it, I like it, there are obvious places where the writing itself needs to be fixed, but I don’t know what to do about the story itself.  I had a thought that first person would suit this one better, and since I had that many times while writing it, I think I need to try that route.  I also had a thought of swapping the MC from the daughter to the mom.  Their roles seem to be interchangeable as I have it now in the story.  If I reverse their roles and the troubles they’ve experienced, it might come out more emotional.  And I suddenly notice I’ve gravitated toward older characters in my writing. 

I thought I was done with Fading Light, but it wasn’t done with me.

My copy of “Federations” arrived yesterday, and I finally got a chance to start reading it.  The first story “Mazer in Prison” by Orson Scott Card sang to me.  The story was wonderful, and I went to reread it –analytically– and decided I really liked the character’s voice, the way he told his story without telling even though he presented fact.

And I realized I was missing that.  Connor was missing that.  So I went back to Fading Light and dug back into Connor’s problems and how he viewed the world and adjusted a few words here and there to shine a better light on things, and then something huge hit me about the ending.  I totally missed this amazing thing he could do.

And now he’s done it. 

And the story is ready to go.  For real.

Insane editing/fixing/re-editing over lunch. The story is good to go.

Worked on the manuscript with paper and pen, worked in most of the new changes (which now require transcribing).  Still need to rename the great spirits, but not feeling much creatively tonight (family worries).   I may have to skip my lunchtime workout to get this done…  my workout buddy is going to kill me.

October proved to be a wonderful month for writing.  I stuck with it all month, accomplishing a variety of work.  I’m quite pleased with it, and hope I can keep it up through next month.  November promises chaos: my son’s first birthday, a short vacation, a family visit, and Thanksgiving: all in the same week.  I may need to fly back home early in the month for an unplanned family issue as well.  I’m scheduling the first three weeks of the month for writing and planning my goals according to the time I believe is available outside of preparing for these committments.

And no, I’m not doing NaNoWriMo, but for everyone who is: best of luck and have a blast!

October Accomplishments:
* Fading Light: edited; submitted to crit group, re-edit in progress;
* Watering the Black Violas: first draft written
* Hunter’s Honor: edited; submitted to crit group
* Critiques completed: 3
* POV Workshop: 4/4 segments complete
* Novel Reading: slowly working through Game of Thrones
* Market Research for Hunter & Fading Light
* Started planning 2010 writing goals: novel projects selected, submission-hopeful short stories selected (yes I am forever thinking ahead to my next projects)

November Goals:
* Fading Light: complete edit and submission
* Watering the Black Violas: edit
* Nighthunter’s Bite: write 1st draft (and rename)
* Critiques: 2
* Novel Reading (con’t Game of Thrones)
* Hunter’s Honor: edit (tentative)

I’m working on Fading Light tonight.  My crit group gave me several fantastic crits.  I missed 2 – 3 critical points for truly bringing this story alive.  One was entirely absent, but the other two are there, just below the surface.  I just need to name them.

It won’t be done in time for me to submit before month-end, but that was my own self-imposed goal to make sure I got it out the door.  A few more days is fine.

Not exciting but good for the writing soul. 😉  I organized a ton of notes I’d been emailing myself for the past two years and dropped all those notes into Word files.  I feel much better now.

I played catch-up today with the POV workshop Valerie is running on FM.  Completed exercise numbers two and four.  I also had a revelation today regarding my novel Forgotten Star, which I plan on editing is 2010.  For some reason, it suddenly hit me this might be a YA novel.  Who would have guessed?

Mostly household stuff today, and family issues.  I started and completed a critique for David, and hopefully didn’t go too wild making comments. 

Since I began writing seriously ten years ago, there have been a few notable breaks from the writing for me.  Two had to do with pregnancies and childbirth, a third was related to insane stress and unusual living circumstances, and the others were writing related.  Critiques.  I can take a rejection from an editor much easier than I can take a harsh critique.  Twice now, I’ve received critiques that have sent me running (screaming) from writing.  The critiques were not wrong, I just wasn’t ready to understand them and put them to use.  They intimitdated me from my writing, cropping up doubts in my ability, giving power to self-pity.

I have two stories out for critique right now.  One came back with numerous and consisten comments on what worked and what didn’t, with comments citing disapointment in the outcome compared to a promise in the beginning, paths in the story that didn’t get addressed, some grammar issues.  These were presented in a manner in which I digested them easily.  They were learning-worthy.  I love those kind of crits. 

But my other story received a crit in a very different fashion: the kind that usually sends me running.  With comments such as “poorly written” and “hated it” beginning the crit, it took me two hours of repeated attempts to get past such cold comments to get to the points this critiquer had made.  One some counts, I agree with some of the issues, on others- I don’t.  But I fought with it.  Grappled with it.

Unneccessarily, perhaps.  Because in the end, it’s feedback and I can do with it what I want.  But that doesn’t stop the sting of someone hating what I’ve created.

I have to remind myself that if I want a career as a writer, there will always be someone who hates what I create.   Many someones. 

This guy gave me feedback that I asked for, and while it isn’t in the warm-fuzzy-learning-joy kind of critique, it’s still a critique with points I can use to better my story.  To the extent he wants?  Probably not.  It’s my story.  I’ll pick.  I’ll choose.  And I’ll learn what I can.

What do YOU do with crits you struggle with, right or wrong?

The writing has been quiet for a few days.  A nasty cold hit too, so I’m glad I finished the Hunter revisions early.  I’m torn now between starting the next revision for Fading Light.  I haven’t received too many crits back (and I hate to be impatient and ask people for crits).  The two crits I received were accurate; I agree with most points made and at this point, I can’t imagine there is too much more to point out.  I’m printing the latest version and the crits I have, and I’ll look at it tomorrow night.  I can at least start marking up the printout and judge how I feel.

I’ve also started market research for Hunter’s Honor and am pleased it fits the criterea for JJA’s Way of the Wizard anthology.   It also fits my favorite fantasy zines, but I’m starting with JJA’s antho.