Priorities are a funny thing; usually something becomes more important when you’re avoiding something else. So, priorities balance according to what we don’t want to do. So instead of cleaning the bathrooms, I picked up my novel Forgotten Star, the one I scheduled myself to begin revising in January. Well, I had short story deadlins through March 31st and April 15th, I couldn’t concentrate on a novel revision, so I let it sit. In April I picked up my novel in progress, Shadow of Blood, read that, and got back into writing it in May. A scene. Short stories again.

It’s always short stories. So what is that telling me? That I really DID learn how to write a short story. I’m working on # 43 at the moment. That’s a good count. I want to write them and I’m dying to revise them. I even came up with a schedule based on what’s the easier to get into submission readiness.

I sat up looked around and realized I’m avoiding my novels. Why am I avoiding them? I don’t know. Yes, writing is hard, but I love it. It’s what I think about all day long. I dream about it. I wake up in the middle of the night to jot down inspiration. So what is it about avoiding my novels?

I don’t know. I wish I did.

But getting back on my schedule should help. I divided my time by task. Early morning writing session is for novel first drafts. Four lunches a week are for short story writing/revising and critiques; the other three are for working out. Four after work writing sessions are to continue short story writing/revising and critiques. Evening writing session is supposed to  be for novel revision. I’m lucky I get to break it out so many different ways instead of getting one big block.

I think my issue might be committment. The last time I was fully committed to a novel project was in 2005/06. Ever since then, it’s been little children and short stories. My girl is turning 4 in a few weeks. My boy is a year and a half. I have my brain back though I admit there are pregnangy induced holes wether it’s from trauma or hormones I can’t tell you… Am I afraid I’ve changed too much? Can’t get back there? Surely not. I’m still getting ideas. I’m still thinking about my characters. I’m evening working on an article on planning interpersonal relationships and using that tool as a conflict generator. Maybe I’ve forgotten how much I love novel writing…

The answers aren’t forthcoming tonight, but I have a feeling once I work out the schedule (2nd alarm clock in the bathroom!) I’ll be back on track. Just watch. You’ll see.


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