The universe is testing my will to write again, or more specifically, my desire to be a good mom and a good writer are at conflict. The school year has gotten off to a good start, we’re enrolled in after school activities, I’m trying to keep myself fit, and I’m trying to keep the writing constant. Again, I’m reminded I can’t do it all, despite the fact that before, it seems like I did.
Bottom line: I’m losing my after work writing time. Every hour my daughter spends in after-school care costs me more money. After school activities cost me time.
By the time I get the little ones in bed and settled enough that I can migrate to the basement for the evening, i am so tired that my productivity slows to a screeching halt. Maybe not so dramatically, but enough that I’m trying to think of new ways to find time in my day.
THERE ARE NO NEW WAYS. There are only the ways that cost me energy. I’ve been failing at the early morning wake-ups. So I’ve been writing at lunch instead of working out, or staying up late and taking 2 hours to do what I used to in twenty minutes. I just need to get myself in gear and wake up earlier. The first step is admitting that I’ve truly lost that after work writing time. I can’t tell you how much this saddens me. The flip side is that I’m spending more time with my kids and taking them places where they can experience things and become better people and happier children.
I need to start the 4:15 wakeups. I think I should do it military style. Throw myself out of bed and onto the floor and force out 20 pushups and situps. Get the blood flowing, right?
Maybe not. But I do need to get down to my computer and start typing. This post is the first step. It’s worked before, and i’ll do it again, I just need the push. I can do this. If my writing is going to survive, I have no other choice. I want to be awesome at two things which require more time than I can spare.
Starting tonight, 10:15 bedtime, 5:00 wake ups. After a week or two of this and judging my productivity, I’ll see how much earlier I need to move this.
Anyone else depriving themselves of pre-sunrise sleep? I’m sure I’m not alone…